Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) has become one of the most polarizing topics. Some people see it as a must-have for fairness and justice, while others think it’s divisive or harmful. As not-for-profit leaders, you're likely familiar with how these tensions play out within your teams, boards, and the communities you serve. Understanding why these divides happen can help you lead through them in a way that brings people together instead of pushing them further apart.
In this post, we'll explore three big reasons why DEI sparks such strong reactions: cognitive biases, emotional triggers, and identity dynamics. And we’ll do it from both sides: those who strongly support DEI and those who push back against it. My goal is to help leaders like you make sense of these conversations and stay focused on the bigger picture: your organization’s vision and mission. Because at the end of the day, your work is about creating a world where everyone has a fair shot at thriving.
"Inclusion isn't about making a place for one group at the expense of another. It's about creating space for everyone to thrive." – Anonymous
1. Cognitive Biases: How We Interpret Information
We all have mental shortcuts that shape how we see the world. These biases can make us hold on tighter to what we already believe, even when faced with new information.
For DEI Skeptics:
- Confirmation Bias
Many skeptics have seen or heard of negative experiences with DEI (e.g., a diversity training gone wrong) and use these examples to confirm their belief that DEI is harmful. They might ignore broader evidence of DEI’s positive outcomes, dismissing it as politically motivated.
- Zero-Sum Thinking
Some believe that DEI initiatives inherently disadvantage majority groups. If new opportunities are created for underrepresented groups, they assume this must come at the expense of others.
For DEI Advocates:
- Confirmation Bias
DEI supporters may focus only on studies and success stories that affirm their perspective while dismissing concerns raised by skeptics as uninformed or rooted in prejudice. It may make them less receptive to critique.
- Attribution Bias
It’s easy to assume that people who resist DEI do so because they don’t care about fairness, rather than considering that some may have legitimate worries about fairness or have had negative experiences with poorly executed DEI initiatives.
2. Emotional Triggers: Why These Conversations Feel So Personal
DEI discussions often evoke strong emotional responses because they touch on fairness, belonging, and identity. These emotions can shape people’s openness—or resistance—to DEI efforts.
For DEI Skeptics:
- Fear of Exclusion
Many who resist DEI feel that they are being pushed aside or unfairly blamed for systemic inequalities. They fear that acknowledging privilege means their own hard work is invalidated or that there won’t be space for their struggles.
- Resentment and Anger
When DEI discussions are framed in ways that feel accusatory (e.g., “you’re part of the problem unless you actively fight against oppression”), skeptics may react defensively. Even when properly framed, conversation about inequity and bias can feel like an implicit suggestion that they are part of the problem.
For DEI Advocates:
- Moral Outrage
Advocates often see DEI as a fundamental issue of justice. When someone dismisses or criticizes DEI efforts, it can feel like an attack on values that are deeply held, leading to frustration.
- Exhaustion and Hurt
Many from underrepresented groups have personally experienced discrimination. When DEI efforts are opposed, it can feel like their lived experience is being denied or devalued, leading to emotional fatigue.
3. Identity Dynamics: The Role of Belonging and Social Groups
At its core, DEI is about who belongs and who gets a voice. That’s why it can challenge people’s sense of identity in unexpected ways.
For DEI Skeptics:
- Status Threat
Those in historically dominant groups may feel that DEI challenges their standing or sense of belonging in organizations where they previously never had to think about identity.
- Group Solidarity: Some skeptics see DEI as a movement that unfairly targets people like them, leading to increased alignment with those who share their grievances. This solidarity reinforces their opposition to DEI initiatives.
For DEI Advocates:
- Collective Identity
Many DEI supporters identify deeply with their roles as champions of inclusion. This identity can make it difficult to engage constructively with skeptics, as opposition to DEI can feel like a personal attack.
- Social Reinforcement
In progressive or equity-focused spaces, support for DEI is often a social norm. This can lead to dismissing or avoiding engagement with those who oppose DEI, further deepening polarization.
Conclusion:
Leading Through Polarization
As a not-for-profit leader, you are in a unique position to cut through the noise and bring people together. The more we understand what’s driving both DEI advocates and skeptics, the better we can lead conversations that move us forward instead of keeping us stuck.
Here are a few tips to lead effectively through polarization:
- Acknowledge concerns openly.
Listening to skeptics doesn’t mean you’re abandoning DEI—it means you’re making room for real dialogue. Inclusion should apply to everyone, even those who struggle with these conversations.
- Reframe DEI as an expansion, not a replacement.
People don’t have to lose for others to win. When done right, DEI creates stronger teams, better decisions, and more opportunities for everyone.
- Find common ground.
Most people—whether they’re skeptical of DEI or fully on board—care about fairness, respect, and getting things right. That’s where the conversation should start.
At the end of the day, your organization exists to make a difference. By leading with curiosity and care, you can navigate these divides and create an environment where everyone feels like they belong.
At Connect2Knowledge, we partner with not-for-profits committed to creating a more equitable world but unsure of how to get there. We help strengthen their teams’ equity, diversity, and inclusion (EDI) capabilities in a landscape filled with growing challenges and divisiveness. If you're ready to rise to the occasion, we’re here to support you.
